TMD: The White Crane

The majestic white crane only flies on rare occasions. Researching and attempting to capture this wonderful bird was inevitably an arduous and nearly impossible task. Here's how the journey unfolded.

It was in a deep forest setting that I first set my eyes upon this magnificent creature. She had come out of nowhere, having been hidden by the large towering trees. It was a beautiful sight. This particular forest housed a specific group of trees that attracted a large group of fireflies. Millions of them. They were nesting in the trees, glowing and lighting the night. It was a breathtaking sight. And as I was admiring this natural phenomenon, I noticed her. The crane. She stood there, amongst the thickets, stretching her glorious wings. I crept closer and closer. Then an amazing thing happened. Known for avoiding human contact, I was expecting the crane to take off. But when it noticed me, it allowed me to join it in its strange nocturnal ritual. So I was able to share a very intimate time with the crane.

Having thought that I had established myself into the bird's trust, I came back the next few days in order to capture it to tag it. Tagging is very important, it allows us researchers to track the migratory patterns of the bird, as well as its daily territorial movements such as hunting tactics and nesting strategies. Unfortunately for me, I had forgotten how difficult it is to gain the trust of a white crane. I miscalculated its space of comfort and when I got to close, it flew away. I tried several times, but in all occasions I inevitably failed. So I had to go with a different strategy. I call it the method of easeness. The idea is to ease my way into the trust of the crane. To sit within sight of the crane, but never appear to be a threat, allowing the crane to get used to my presence until I become a part of it's habitat. This took a great deal of patience and effort. And it was also a risky decision because of the upcoming winter. That was also something I had miscalculated. But through this strategy, I was able to study the white crane in depth. And it's undoubtedly a magnificent creation.

The white crane is an interesting creature. It's a very free spirit, flying around its huge territory, ruling over all of its domain. It has no real predator and sits on the top of the food chain. It feeds on fish and occasionally wheat, as well as frogs, mice, and smaller creatures. Being the top of the food chain, it maintains the balance of the ecosystem within its territory. The crane also has a unique personality. It's very wise in what it does. I can only assume that it is a very experienced and tested crane. And don't let its appearance fool you, even though it appears very calm and friendly, it is a very powerful and territorial bird. When it feels threatened, it will show its authority.

And thus, my research was going well. I was easing my way into the birds trust slowly but surely. Then my miscalculation ruined everything. Winter hit like sudden earthquake. I wouldn't have noticed, but the crane and it's natural ability to hint the change in weather alerted it. And one day, the crane took off into the sky in a different fashion. It took off more powerfully than before, with the determination not to fly back again, until the next spring.

And so I must put my journey on hold, the journey to capture the white crane.

TMD: Bicycling

I looooove bicycling. I used to own this silver Diamondback bike and I named her Silver Bullet. I used to ride her everywhere throughout Cupertino. She was my ticket to freedom. I would explore down McClellan Rd. into the thickets of Blackberry Farm. I would go down Hollenback into the Beauchamps neighborhoods then ride into Seven Springs and down Bubb, past Kennedy, between Monta Vista and Lincoln and back home. I would ride down Stevens Creek all the way to Cupertino High School just for fun.

Sometimes, I would pretend that I was a Jedi and Silver Bullet was my X-Wing, or A-Wing. I've always had the A-Wing in a special place in my heart because it looked the coolest, it had the most maneuverability out of all the starships, and no one else cared about it. There were two bolts between the handle bars and I would pretend they were buttons that would engage the proton torpedoes from my A-Wing named Silver Bullet. I thank my imagination due to my childhood without any siblings, forcing me to be creative to keep myself from being bored.

But there was one benefiting byproduct from bicycling that I hadn't realize until now. Biking really enabled me to be quick on my feet. It worked out my quads like no other exercise. I was able to run faster and jump higher than the average Junior High/High School person. That's why I was so excited to have borrowed my friend's bike recently that I took it out at 10:30 at night to ride around. And by doing so, it brought back all the joys of childhood. But there several key differences that changed the way I rode.

First, I was really rusty. I still could ride the bike, but not like before. Before, I was a pro-biker. I could do jumps, I could drift, I could ride with no hands, I could ride with one hand, I could weave in and out of places, I could ride and squeeze through the tightest spots with ease. The bike was essentially a part of me. Now, I cant. I'm afraid of losing my balance, falling, and hurting myself. I tried to ride with only one hand and it scared the crap out of me. I could easily blame low visibility due to the time of day, but I wont. I'll admit I was super rusty.

Second, the bike wasn't in ideal conditions. The brakes needed adjusting. I was going full speed and I was about to make a sharp turn. As I hit the brakes, it bike didn't respond. So I almost crashed into a bush/tree. But that's okay.

Third, I felt like Carl Johnson from GTA San Andreas. Instead of my sexy A-Wing and photon cannons, it was a black man running from the cops. Oh dear...

Nonetheless, the joy of riding hasn't disappeared. I absolutely cannot wait to ride again today. Woohoo!

G.o.G.

Having a chance to serve at three ministries.
Having amazingly supportive parents.
Having wonderfully supportive mentors.
Having the freedom to adjust my schedule.
Having good health.
Having talents to use.
Having been forgiven.
Being loved.
Being able to love.
Being able to live, breathe, feel, enjoy.
Being able to cherish moments.
Being able to appreciate the things that are good and bad.
Being given direction even when unaware of it.
Getting away with a moving violation once in a while.

Grace of God.

Sorry for being a disobedient and sinful man. You know me better than anyone else and You know that I love You with all I am able to, and that I am absolutely nothing without you. Thank You for Your undeserved favor and grace that covers me every moment of my life that you have deemed worthy through the ultimate display of love that this universe can possibly fathom. As I strive to be a son that pleases You, please be my eyes that I may solely focus on You , be my strength that propels me towards You.

Late Night Meh-ness

I'm so blessed by God. He has given me so much. Loving parents, awesome friends, undeserved love, comforts, safety, and the list goes on and on. So I should be happy and satisfied. Which I am. I know that there are so many people out there who don't have as much as I do. There are so many people out there with hurts and pains that are far bigger than my comprehension.

And as selfish as I might sound, there's one thing that I want so bad that God has been keeping from me. And that's my desire to have the girl. The one. I know with all my heart that she's out there. I know with all my heart that I am meant to be with the one. Yet He keeps her away from me. Possibly to teach me patience. Possibly to mature me to be a better partner. But my patience is limited. My heart longs for that.

I feel like I've given a lot to God, probably not enough in the standard of Him, but in my standards, I have given up a lot. I've been serving youth ministry ever since 7th grade. I've done my fair share of praise leading, bible teaching, missions, revival nights, etc. I've served college ministry at SJSU. I've sacrificed a lot of my time/energy/money/grades to get KCCC running at SJSU. I've faithfully gone to as much meetings as possible. I've driven to LA countless times battling sleepiness and fatigue. I've dealt with uncooperative youth kids and college kids. I've forced myself to talk to strangers and love those who are difficult to love. And now I'm serving two churches and as satisfying as it is knowing that I am doing what He wants me to do, it's also incredibly physically draining.

And in all of this work that I feel is a lot (as unjustified as it may be coming from my perspective and not God's), all I desire is to meet her. To be my support, to be a pillar in my life. Someone who I can share my life with at a different level than my friends or my parents.

It comes off selfish but that's what I really want. Father, please be my provider! I am ready to share my heart.

TMD: The Small Things Pt. 1

I don't know if you've noticed... but it's interesting how similar we are.

TMD: What is Love?

Let's define "love." No, not the warm fuzzy feeling you get inside when you hold hands with a significant other.

During Bible study, something really bothered me about the response I got from the group about "love." When people have personalities that clash, or when people hurt you, should you keep your distance? Also, can you love someone but not like them?

Let's look at Jesus. After all, he is the ultimate example of love. And he showed that by dying on the cross. Not just for his disciples, not just for his followers, not just for Israel, but the entire population of the world, past present and future. And he did it willingly. He wanted to do his Father's will, which was to make a path towards salvation. It's not like he died unwillingly. He also died with compassion, for he prays that those who do not know what they're doing will be forgiven. He was very committed to this event. He had to be, since it required his life.

From that example alone, you can tell that love is not just a feeling. It's a commitment to someone with compassion and forgiveness. And I doubt that defines the entirety of love. I bet that sentences encompasses about 20% of the full extent of love. Now, when people say that they should distance themselves from people because they were hurt or their personalities clashed, isn't that already negating the commitment and compassion part? Even the forgiveness part of that aspect. I'm sure Jesus, being God, knew that millions of people would reject his sacrifice, not even acknowledge his existence. Nonetheless, he still died for them with love. He could have easily excluded them from the gift of grace, but he didn't.

And here's the thing about love. If you love something even if you don't like it now, you are bound to. When you're committed to something with compassion and forgiveness, you are absolutely bound to like it. How can you hate something you are so committed to?

TMD: Parental Love

I woke up at 10:30 today. I was 3 hours late for work. I had forgotten to set my alarm clock.

Here's what happened. I was sleeping soundly, and then I woke up naturally. It felt good because I hadn't done that in a very long time. I laid in bed, half asleep, waiting for the alarm to go off. It never did. But the light shining from out my window was illuminating the blinds very brightly, and I decided to open my eyes just to check the clock on my wall. It was 10:30. Crap! I quickly grabbed my phone to recheck and surely enough, it was 10:30. I jumped out of bed, quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth, threw on my clothes, packed the things I needed for work and rushed out into my kitchen towards my garage. On the way, I spotted my mom in the family room, reading the newspaper. I glanced at her, and then turned away quickly in shame, know that any second she would start yelling at me for being late/lazy/irresponsible. She didn't. I opened the garage door and rushed out to my car. As I entered my car, I noticed that my mom was standing by the doorway, waving goodbye. I studied her facial expression for any hints of anger or disappointment, but found none. Rather, it was just a face that acknowledged my tardiness but was okay with it. Almost like she understood that I had felt bad, that I had been tired, and excused me from my mistake.

As I was 2Fast2Furiously driving to work, I thought about that. And all I could do was thank God for letting me have such awesome parents. And then it lead me to think about my heavenly Father. How much more loving, how much more understanding He is. I wrong Him possibly one thousand times more frequently than I wrong my earthly parents, but He is infinitely more loving than my earthly parents. So it doesn't only even out, His love completely blows over every thing I do, good and bad. It's pretty fricken awesome being a part of His family, and being His son.

"The reason I praise You is simple. I just can't help myself but to do so."